To my Database Administrator friends… #Parody #Humor

“The DBA Rules” sung to the tune of “The Mob Rules” by black sabbath.

Oh come on
Restrict the database and tell the people that something's coming to call
Performance and slowness are taking a bite from the BI users, oh
You've nothing to say
They're breaking away
If you listen to Data
The DBA rules
The DBA rules
Kill the SPID and you'll be thanked, the end is always the same
Play with indexes, you burn your fingers and lose your hold of the trace, oh
It's over, it's done
The transaction began
If you listen to Data
The DBA rules
You've nothing to say
Oh, they're breaking away
If you listen to Data
Break the rebuild and stop the autogrow, the storage is overrun
Just remember it might start growing and take you right back around
You're all Data, Insights, Performance, Throughput
The DBA rules